How many times has the narcissist punished you for some imagined slight by removing themselves from your life? By and large, the silent treatment is one of the cruelest forms of punishment the narcissist can inflict on their victim and one of their favorites as it requires no real effort on their part. It cuts to the bone, to the core of your being and your soul. It affects your sense of value both in your eyes and theirs. You feel as if you are insignificant and worthless. And, the longer it goes on, the longer you wallow in a misery that only they could deliver you from. If only they would call. If only your phone would *ding* with a text or e-Mail from them exclaiming how much you’re loved and missed. But the silence continues. How could they do this to you? Why would they do this to you?
Author: David
The myth of Echo and Narcissus was always one of my favorites as a kid. To me, it represented so many different facets of relationships and the human psyche – true love, sacrifice, longing, loss, discovery, rebirth. Narcissus was the 
most beautiful person. No one could compare. One day, Echo, a mountain nymph who was cursed by Hera to only be able to repeat what was spoken to her, came upon Narcissus in the woods and fell deeply in love with him. Narcissus saw her and spoke to her. In a moment of passion, she thrust herself upon him but he spurned her, saying, “I don’t love you!” Echo fought to repeat, “I…love you,” but her words were in vain. Thinking she could win his affections, Echo continued voicing her deep love for him, over and over again, until she faded away into nothingness with only the sound of her voice echoing on the wind. And Narcissus? Narcissus saw his reflection in a pool of water and fell in love with his own beauty, sitting, mesmerized, at the water’s edge where he remained, slowly turning into the gold and white flower that now blooms by bodies of water: the Narcissus. But what, exactly, is narcissism and what constitutes a narcissist?
“Am I a narcissist?” Wow! That was a tough question to ask myself. And, believe me, I wrestled with not just the question, but the possibility the answer might be, “Yes!” for many days (and more nights than I care to recall). The way I looked at it, if the narcissist could love bomb me with an unbelievable love, something I had only ever dreamed of, and I could actually return that very same “love,” didn’t that mean that I was also a narcissist? That I was love bombing her, too?
A frog and a scorpion are sitting by the river. The scorpion asks the frog to carry him across. The frog says, “No! If I do, you’ll sting me!” The scorpion replies, “That’s foolish. If I did, we’d both drown.” So, reluctantly, the frog agrees to ferry him to the other side. About halfway across, the frog feels the sting of the scorpion’s tail in his back. As he begins to drown, with his last breath, the frog exclaims, “You fool! What have you done?! Now we’ll both die!” The scorpion replies, “I couldn’t help it. It’s in my nature.”
Have you ever noticed how, when the narcissist returns, for a short while, things are not only good between you, things are actually fantastic?! In fact, things are just like they used to be when you first started dating. This is called the hoovering phase. This is the phase that generally occurs after the discard phase. Hoovering, named after the famous vacuum cleaner from the early 20th Century, is when the narcissist acts just like s/he did when you first met. There are grandiose expressions of adoration, emotional moments where the narcissist seems to, “…finally get it!” You think there’s been some grand epiphany! “S/He’s hurt me so much, but now they’re so apologetic, sincere, and loving. Finally! This is the turning point for us.” Be forewarned: this is only temporary. Allow me to explain the different phases of a relationship with a narcissist.
It was February 7, 2015. That’s the day I met her. For the sake of anonymity, we’ll call her, “Julia.” Julia was like no one else I’d ever met before – articulate, educated, intelligent, athletic, funny and witty with a beautiful laugh. She was tiny – 5′ 6″, 102 lbs. with sandy blonde hair – she was lovely, to say the least. I’m a cyclist. And on that day, I’d just finished a ride, the second of the 2015 Cycling 
Season. As I was putting my bike away, there she was, seemingly from out of nowhere. I don’t know what possessed me, as I don’t normally strike up conversations with strangers, but I definitely struck up a conversation with her. As we talked, I noticed she had the most beautiful Russian accent. Our initial encounter was brief, maybe 5 minutes, but from tiny seeds come the tallest of trees. Little did I know it but this was the beginning of the most amazing, beautiful, terrible, toxic relationship of my life.