The myth of Echo and Narcissus was always one of my favorites as a kid. To me, it represented so many different facets of relationships and the human psyche – true love, sacrifice, longing, loss, discovery, rebirth. Narcissus was the 
most beautiful person. No one could compare. One day, Echo, a mountain nymph who was cursed by Hera to only be able to repeat what was spoken to her, came upon Narcissus in the woods and fell deeply in love with him. Narcissus saw her and spoke to her. In a moment of passion, she thrust herself upon him but he spurned her, saying, “I don’t love you!” Echo fought to repeat, “I…love you,” but her words were in vain. Thinking she could win his affections, Echo continued voicing her deep love for him, over and over again, until she faded away into nothingness with only the sound of her voice echoing on the wind. And Narcissus? Narcissus saw his reflection in a pool of water and fell in love with his own beauty, sitting, mesmerized, at the water’s edge where he remained, slowly turning into the gold and white flower that now blooms by bodies of water: the Narcissus. But what, exactly, is narcissism and what constitutes a narcissist?
Category: Narcissists
“Am I a narcissist?” Wow! That was a tough question to ask myself. And, believe me, I wrestled with not just the question, but the possibility the answer might be, “Yes!” for many days (and more nights than I care to recall). The way I looked at it, if the narcissist could love bomb me with an unbelievable love, something I had only ever dreamed of, and I could actually return that very same “love,” didn’t that mean that I was also a narcissist? That I was love bombing her, too?
A frog and a scorpion are sitting by the river. The scorpion asks the frog to carry him across. The frog says, “No! If I do, you’ll sting me!” The scorpion replies, “That’s foolish. If I did, we’d both drown.” So, reluctantly, the frog agrees to ferry him to the other side. About halfway across, the frog feels the sting of the scorpion’s tail in his back. As he begins to drown, with his last breath, the frog exclaims, “You fool! What have you done?! Now we’ll both die!” The scorpion replies, “I couldn’t help it. It’s in my nature.”
Have you ever noticed how, when the narcissist returns, for a short while, things are not only good between you, things are actually fantastic?! In fact, things are just like they used to be when you first started dating. This is called the hoovering phase. This is the phase that generally occurs after the discard phase. Hoovering, named after the famous vacuum cleaner from the early 20th Century, is when the narcissist acts just like s/he did when you first met. There are grandiose expressions of adoration, emotional moments where the narcissist seems to, “…finally get it!” You think there’s been some grand epiphany! “S/He’s hurt me so much, but now they’re so apologetic, sincere, and loving. Finally! This is the turning point for us.” Be forewarned: this is only temporary. Allow me to explain the different phases of a relationship with a narcissist.